My Story: Part 3 — Regaining the Loss

We finally hit move-in day. The house wasn’t completely finished, but we could at least set up a bed or two and utilize our kitchen.

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This is now our dining room, the same area pictured in Part 1 of My Story.

It was during this transitional time that I resigned from my job as a full-time public elementary school teacher. As mentioned in previous posts, I had THE dream job. I loved my school, administrators, kids and co-workers. But God clearly had other plans for me. I could feel Him every day, even at my work desk, quietly showing me that I could still have a fulfilling life. That I could heal. That opportunities for healing at home and enjoying my family were possible. And most importantly, that He never left.

During the late summer months, truck-loads with our former belongings rolled back into our driveway. Stacks of clothing salvaged from our closet, chipped ceramic dishes, and boxes of singed baby toys littered our living room.

The experience combined the emotions of a Christmas morning brunch with the herbs of Passover supper. Joyous, exciting, bittersweet and painful.

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There was much the restoration company could not salvage, but the effort they took in returning our broken and damaged items was immense and not overlooked.

I pored through each box, carefully looking over each item. We had to consider which things we could and could not keep, for the sake of our health. Many items after severe fire damage will maintain the smoke and toxic chemicals, even after professional cleaning.

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Stacks of hanging clothes, most of which had to be thrown away.

Some precious things that came back damaged, but not destroyed were Bundle’s baby book, Hubby and I’s wedding album, the Bible from my teen years, Bundle’s favorite stuffed lamb, and two of our favorite coffee mugs.

I’m still not sure whether the tears I shed those days were from loss or gratefulness for what was left. Looking back, it doesn’t matter. God knew the tears were necessary to the renewal of our life.

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What I gained back from the restoration company was not simply our sentimental possessions, it was the idea of starting over. Something that would change the entire course of the next year.

As August approached, I added my name to our school district’s substitute teaching list. It was crazy busy most weeks, but each week I spent an entire two or three days (sometimes more!) with sweet Bundle.

The more I stayed home, the more I loved it.

Minutes spent exploring our garden with my daughter would turn into hours. A quick batch of cookie dough would turn into a huge baking expedition with batter all over both of us. Those sweet moments I have cherished so much.

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Precious moment.

It didn’t take me long to realize the Lord had other plans for my life, and teaching and subbing were currently not in His planner.

This realization was thrilling!!

This realization was terrifying.

Wasn’t I born to teach? To be a working mom?

I didn’t know that the healing process was already beginning.

See My Story: Part 4 — Unexpected Healing

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