How to Pick a New Library Book when Your Toddler’s with You in 20 Easy Steps

Wednesday is library day for us. And while every library day is not this dramatic, we’ve certainly had our moments. I’m thinking (mostly hoping) there might be a few others who can relate…

Here’s my fail proof system for picking out a new book at the library when my toddler’s with me.

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  1. Make yourself a cup of tea to amp yourself up for the trip, gather all the books to return in giant tote bags, and beg your child to put on her shoes…again.
  2. Drag tea, totes and toddler to the car. Hopefully there’s another pair of shoes somewhere in there…
  3. Drive to the library, sipping sort-of-still-warm tea, and singing “Let It Go” at the top of your lungs approximately three and a half times.
  4. Exit car with a shoes-on toddler and totes, carefully leaving tea (can’t remember if this library allows drinks or not…) and try three times to open the door before wedging your foot in the crack to enter the foyer.
  5. Watch your toddler race to the toy section (so much for that mother-daughter discussion earlier on patience) and attempt to stack all the return books back on the circulation desk without dropping any.
  6. Breathe a sigh of relief as your toddler finds a story time friend and spends two minutes chatting about their favorite movie.
  7. Browse the new book section carefully, keeping one eye on your child and the other on the sharp lookout for that new title by your favorite author.
  8. Feel a twinge of guilt at not even attempting to achieve those literary goals you had planned for toddler’s morning as you consider a cozy mystery on the shelf above you.
  9. Look on in horror as your child drags ten books to the floor in one swipe, screaming, “LET IT GO, LET IT GO!”
  10. Once you’ve convinced tiny Elsa to look at these “cool new dinosaur books,” sit down with her and spend fifteen minutes reading through each one – in expert dinosaur voices, of course.
  11. Take a millisecond to process the words coming out of your toddler’s mouth: Mommy, I have to go potty! before dropping the books to the floor and zooming like a mad woman to the restroom.
  12. After glancing at the clock, zipping up the fuzzy jacket that MUST be zipped, and making three drinking fountain pitstops, return your toddler to the toy area.
  13. Pick a couple more kid-friendly books to add to the dinosaur stack, and sneak over to the new gluten free cookbook section.
  14. Have your thoughts immediately broken by your child tugging at your coat begging to go home because she’s bored with those toys.
  15. Pick up the stack of books and head to the front desk, snagging the promising-looking gluten free cookbook for yourself on the way.
  16. Dash out to the car, leaving your toddler to talk the librarian’s ear off for a few seconds, and dig through the change compartment to find enough coins to hopefully pay the late fine for those three books you forgot at home.
  17. Pay the late fee, check out books, load books into giant tote bags, and begin to head for the door.
  18. Exit library with whining/complaining/possibly-tantrum-throwing child (who just can’t say goodbye to the library toys she’s suddenly NOT bored with anymore), giant totes of check-outs falling off your other arm, and the only shred left of your sanity which got you there in the first place.
  19. Buckle toddler in the car, throw the totes in the backseat, and pull out that cookbook – possibly the successful, bright and shining star of the day’s book hunt. Wait… Whole Wheat Flour Italian Artisan Breadmaking?! How did that happen? Oh well. Better luck next time.
  20. Take a giant swig of lukewarm tea, breathe another sigh of relief that you made it to the car in one piece, and turn “Let It Go” back on.

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See? Just 20 easy steps. 😀 I’m hoping to find a better gluten free cookbook next week…

Happy Library Day!

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