As the scarlet and golden hues of fall turned into crystalline frost, I saw God’s plans evolving before my eyes. Living in my own home and working part time was a divine gift.
In the last year, with the help and prayers of many, my depression had morphed from immobilizing to manageable. Fall festivals were attended, holiday dinners were hosted, Bundle’s first sentences were witnessed with joy. I could feel my body and mind gaining their health back. I felt more like myself every day.
But the promise of a pure and joy-filled spirit hung just out of reach. Could these happy moments really be my life? I’d been living in darkness for so long it felt like life was too good to be true.
We finally hit move-in day. The house wasn’t completely finished, but we could at least set up a bed or two and utilize our kitchen.
It was during this transitional time that I resigned from my job as a full-time public elementary school teacher. As mentioned in previous posts, I had THE dream job. I loved my school, administrators, kids and co-workers. But God clearly had other plans for me. I could feel Him every day, even at my work desk, quietly showing me that I could still have a fulfilling life. That I could heal. That opportunities for healing at home and enjoying my family were possible. And most importantly, that He never left.
Board by board, nail by nail, and layer by layer of paint, our house was rebuilt. Those days in late May and June were agonizing, just waiting to be a resident of my own home again.
During this tough time I was finally able to come to terms with my depression as an illness. I began steadily taking my medication and practicing coping techniques. Occasionally, I felt like a child going through the motions of a silly song, but the truth is, these things helped.